“Can’t you take a hint?” [Stopping flabotagers]

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You may have seen that we changed our application process earlier this year.

From the monthly find out more meeting…….

To arranging a quick call to look if the programme is a good fit for what someone needs.

No salesy stuff, no pressure.

If it’s not a good fit, we recommend something that is.

People only ever then get cracking because that’s exactly what they want to do.

When people request this call it’s very very clear that that’s what they are requesting.

So I keep contacting them periodically if I don’t hear back.

After all they’ve asked me to contact them to arrange a call.

And, at no point have told me they no longer want me to do that thing that they’ve specifically asked me to do (unless, of course, if they do).

So I don’t stop contacting them.

I know most people just haven’t got round to responding.

Or are apprehensive and unsure.

I know, from experience, how many non responders do then respond eventually and go on to a life changing experience.

Most apologising for not replying earlier.

I know I haven’t responded to stuff just because I haven’t got round to it many times.

Occasionally people get annoyed with me continuing to try to do the thing they’ve asked me to do.

“Can’t you take a hint?” is a response I get periodically.

My response is, as I’m sure you’d expect, measured:

“Hey NAME – sure, no probs – I’ll leave it with you 🙂 Jon”

Or similar.

I’ll be honest, I’m half tempted to put something along the lines of;

“Sorry – I stopped working with hints when I stopped being 10”.

But I’m not sure that would help anyone 😉

And I get it.

In the past I might have ignored something like this and been annoyed when someone kept contacting me (even thought I’d essentially asked them to and not told them otherwise).

Until I’d been on this side of it and now always respond either way.

Because clear communication makes everything easier for all involved.

We know where we stand.

We stop wasting each other’s time.

The clearer we communicate with everyone, the better all round.

Like when people flabotage us.

Offer us cake and biscuits repeatedly at work despite our vague protestations against.

Keep bringing certain foods home despite us having asked them not to (but then still eating it anyway).

Tell us we’re “boring” or “no fun anymore”.

These people (usually) care about us.

A serious conversation where we clearly explain to them that we would really appreciate if they did (or didn’t) act in a certain way around us………..

Followed by us being consistent in our response to what they do………..

Makes it easier for everyone.

People very quickly stop trying to flabotage us when we don’t then do the thing they want us to do.

And, let’s be honest, ‘vagueness’ doesn’t really help us in most areas of life.

Saying “I eat generally” healthily followed by a vague description of our average food intake will rarely lead to particularly good insights or advice.

Accurate tracking of what we’ve consumed for a few days gives us so much more to work with.

Much more knowledge about what adjustments we can (relatively) easily make that will start to take us in the right direction.

A bit of accountability to our decisions.

Moving the ‘feedback’ from weighing more in a few days (or weeks or months) to something more ‘instant’.

Subtlety, vagueness and hints work in some areas of life.

But not so much with our health and fitness.

Much love,

Jon ‘Clue’ Hall