Regular readers of this blog will know that many of the skills and thought-processes, that I use now with clients and members, were things I first learned when I was an Area Manager at Fitness Agents about 4 or 5 years ago.
Another one of these concepts is the concept that “Failure is best endured shared”.
The situation in which it was been applied my, when described to me in my first week was, as a lot of these concepts are, to do with personal trainers.
It was to explain how often unsuccessful personal trainers would try and subconsciously drag down other personal trainers to make themselves feel better.
Having been told this by the Directors, I regularly used to explain to new personal trainers this concept of “failure being best endured shared”.
I’d explain to them that they may get other trainers in the club sidling over to them and saying things like “Not much business around here”, “We don’t get much support, do we?”, “No one is interested in personal training around here”, “It’s not the right area for it” and so on.
The reason that the personal trainers would be doing this was because they were unsuccessful themselves at building a personal training business.
And, without realizing it, they were attempting to make others unsuccessful as well.
Because, if others in the same situation were unsuccessful, it validates their opinions.
It proves to them that it was the case that no one around there could afford it, or no one wanted it, or so on.
If a trainer is successful and generates good business it questions that thought process.
It makes the trainer question whether it’s true or whether that trainer is just lazy, isn’t doing the things they need to do, or applying effort in the right places.
I explained to new trainers coming to the club to look at what the successful trainers were doing – they’d be out on the gym floor either training members or talking to them.
They’d be generating interest in what they offered.
They wouldn’t be hanging around trying to drag the other trainers down with them.
I’d been aware of this basic concept before, but putting the name “Failure is best endured shared” to it really clarified things for me.
And I soon began noticing this situation more frequently and in other walks of life.
I particularly notice it nowadays with regards to people’s attempt to lose weight, and the actions of people around them that make it more difficult.
You’ll see it in the actions of friends or colleagues who try and get you to have that extra bun at break-time, or to eat as you used to do at lunch.
They’ll try to peer-pressure you into eating in a certain way, maybe saying things like “You’re no fun anymore”, “This is boring”, “You’re making me feel guilty”, and so on.
Again, this is the “Failure is best endured shared” concept.
If you fail to lose weight it validates their opinion that “It’s hard to eat healthy”, “It’s too expensive”, “People in our job can’t afford it”, “There’s no healthy food in the canteen”, “Cake is just too tasty” and so on.
If / when you succeed, it removes these excuses.
It makes them face the real reasons they’ve not achieved the results you have is because of their own actions (or lack thereof), not because of the justifications they have made.
So next time you hear people trying to drag you down, we’re not saying you have to remove them from your life, but just accept that it what it is.
They’re trying to make you fail to make their own failure more endurable.