I was picking my youngest son up from somewhere recently.

I’m not going to say where.

I was stood next to a few other dads that I don’t know.

One dad’s son came out and told him to carry his stuff for him.

The dad initially said “no”.

Then the child started punching his dad in his bits and repeating that he needed to take it.

After laughing off a little bit, the dad ended up taking the things.

As I stood there in an amazement.

I’d just seen what was essentially a lesson for that child on how to get his dad to do things he didn’t want to do.

Punch him in his bits in front of other people until he does it.

Now, this is a fairly extreme example.

But it’s a surprisingly easy thing to do to teach people to do the thing that you actually don’t want them to do.

We don’t set out to do it.

But our actions cause it.

If we get frustrated with people offering us cake and biscuits at work when we keep saying “no”………

Until, after they’ve asked us enough times and accused us of “being boring” or “no fun”, we’ve “given in” say “yes”.

Essentially teaching them to keep asking and to call us “boring” and “no fun” until we say “yes”.

We get annoyed with our other half for getting in food or drink at home when we’ve asked them not to.

But then we end up eating or drinking it

Teaching them to ignore our protestations and just to get it in anyway because we want it deep down.

It’s a hard pill to swallow that when people repeatedly flabatage us………

It’s often because we’ve taught them to flabotage us.

As always, it’s your life.

Do what you like with it and eat and drink what you like.

But if you get frustrated with other people’s behaviour…………

And realise now that, in reality, to a degree, you’re teaching them to do that………

Then maybe changing that would be beneficial.

If you’re going to eat or drink something, then just eat or drink it and enjoy it.

If you intend not to, then make that decision and stick to it.

Life gets much simpler.

Much love,

Jon ”and bobs’ Hall

P.S. If you like the sound of an approach where you can still socialise and drink as long as it’s averaged out (and, therefore, you’ll enjoy it more rather than beating yourself up over it), then that’s what we do —> www.myrise.co.uk/apply


RISE in Macclesfield was established in 2012 and specialise in Group Personal Training weight loss programmes for those that don’t like the gym and find diets boring and restrictive!

Jon Hall
Jon Hall

When not helping people to transform their lives and bodies, Jon can usually be found either playing with his kids or taxi-ing them around. If you'd like to find out more about what we do at RISE then enter your details in the box to the right or bottom of this page or at myrise.co.uk - this is the same way every single one of the hundreds who've described this as "one of the best decisions I've ever made" took their first step.