How can you win the game? [If you don’t know the rules]

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Have you ever had a “bad day”?

How about a “sh!t week”?

Do most days and weeks feel a bit like that?

Something we need to “get through” to get to “the weekend”, “holidays”, etc?

I get it.

Life’s not always easy.

But…………

I have a question.

What would’ve needed to have happened on those days or weeks for them to be considered “OK” or “Good”?

Chances are we don’t really have a definition of that.

We don’t know the ‘rules’ of winning the day / week.

Or, if we do, it’s pretty much everything going absolutely perfectly, which rarely, if ever happens.

Incredibly hard rules to win with.

If we don’t know the rules how can we win the game?

Without those rules we’ll only ever be left with vague feelings.

And vague feelings always tell us we’re losing.

We often don’t realise that we’re responsible for the setting of the rules for success in our lives.

We’ve developed them without thinking about it.

Maybe inherited them from someone else.

Whatever the case, it’s a hard game to win.

We can change those rules.

We can change the definition of what a “good” or “OK” day or week would look like.

We can set ourselves up for success.

That we will build on.

That will create motivation and momentum.

It’s not a lowering of standards as we might tell ourselves.

It’s playing the game to win.

Which often leads to higher standards achieved.

If our rules around a good day of eating are to eat like a monk or nutritionist or feel we’ve failed………….

I reckon we’ll have more success by our rules being to create average calorie maintenance or deficit over the week.

If our rules of what regular exercise looks like is going for a workout 4 or 5 times a week or feel we’ve failed…………

I reckon we’ll have more success by our rules being to do one or more bits of exercise of any form or duration every week.

If our rules of what needs to happen for us to be happy is for our other half and kids to be happy and everything to go perfectly at work…………

I reckon we’ll be happier by our rules being that we can just chose to feel happiness (an impermanent state, like all emotions) when we do things we enjoy or satisfy us or we succeed at something.

If our rules for feeling that we’ve succeeded is that we’d need to be more successful than anyone we know…………

I reckon we’d feel more successful by monitoring and recognising when we do the things we set out to do each day, week, month and year.

As always, there’s no right or wrong.

We can play this game however we like.

But, if we don’t even know the rules (or if they’re incredibly hard to follow), we’re setting ourselves up to lose.

And just realising and accepting that we alone are responsible for the rules we’re playing by is the first step to winning.

Much love,

Jon ‘Chicken Dinner’ Hall