In yesterday’s blog, I talked about how demonising certain beliefs, opinions and behaviours can actually make them more likely to happen.
And I mentioned Andrew Tate.
One of the most divisive figures of the last five years or so.
Some absolutely love him and what he stands for.
Many feel the exact opposite.
A couple of years ago, I became aware that my two older sons were watching some of his videos.
And using phrases that I understood to have come from him.
So I did my research.
Watched some of his videos and read up on him, what he talks about and what he stands for.
I developed an understanding of what might be attractive in his message to some.
And I had a number of conversations with my sons about what it was of his that they were interested in, what they felt it was like to be a boy / young man these days and various other related topics.
And, over time, they’ve lost interest in him themselves.
Which, I’ll be honest, I was kind of hoping would happen.
But I’ve been in this coaching game long enough to understand that if you try and force something on people they’ll usually do the opposite.
If they don’t feel listened to and understood, you can quickly lose them.
People think, when they first start at RISE, that they just need me to “tell me what to do and I’ll do it”.
Despite the fact that the bullet points of what will achieve them the results they desire have probably been told to them countless times before.
What a good coach does is ask better questions that allows people to come to their their own answers.
But answers that will serve them better (it’s www.myrise.co.uk/apply when you’re ready for that over that same list of instructions)
And that process is much more likely to happen when someone feels listened to, understood and accepted.
I hear people say the title to this blog.
“How do I stop my son being into Andrew Tate?”
And my answer is “You won’t with that approach”.
If anything, he’ll probably do the exact opposite.
So, whether we’re talking to others or to ourselves, let’s approach these conversations with that empathy and understanding.
Forcing behaviours in ourselves or others is unlikely to work.
Much love,
Jon ‘majeure’ Hall
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RISE in Macclesfield was established in 2012 and specialise in Group Personal Training weight loss programmes for those that don’t like the gym and find diets boring and restrictive!
