I read something interesting recently.
About the subject of this blog.
Receiving compliments.
Compliments are, essentially, a gift.
Someone is offering them to us.
Imagine if someone offered us a physical gift and we, at most, begrudgingly accepted it.
Rejected it to some degree.
We’d be less likely to offer future gifts, wouldn’t we?
Compliments are the same.
If we try and minimise, deflect or ‘qualify’ the compliment, then we are basically refusing to accept it as given.
Responses like;
“Oh it’s nothing. I was doing it anyway”…….
“I just got it in the sale”……
“Do you think? I didn’t think it was all that great”…….
“So and so did most of the work”…….
Are all, essentially, refusing to accept the compliment as given.
A simple “Thank you” can be more pleasant so that future compliments are more likely.
We can expand on it, but that’s enough.
And in many areas of life, how we accept what other people say and do dictates how much more likely they are to continue to do it.
Someone asks us if we want a slice of cake 10 times, and we eventually say “yes”……..
Then we are just teaching them that we need to be asked 10 times.
Like the child we’ve all seen who’s pestered their parents for half an hour until the parents give in – teaching the child that pestering for half an hour is the way to get what they want.
When our friend tells us that we’re “boring” or “no fun anymore” and we then eat or drink the thing that they want us to, partly because we want it and partly to shut them up……..
Then we’re just teaching our friend that they need to call us “boring” or “no fun anymore”.
When we tell our partner that we don’t want to have alcohol and snacks in at home, but then consume them when they’re in and offered……..
Then we’re just teaching our partner that we really want alcohol and snacks it at home and to be offered.
How we respond to the actions of others makes those actions more likely and frequent.
We’ll get more compliments by receiving existing compliments well.
We’ll get others to act in a way that assists our attempts to get in better shape by responding in a way that matches what we say.
Much love,
Jon ‘I once sent my wife a message saying ‘Nice ass’. Then realized it was in a family group with my 89-year-old Nanna in’ Hall
P.S. Compliments like ‘You’ve lost weight’ and ‘You seem to have much more energy recently’ are nice. And they’ll become much more likely by jumping in here –> www.myrise.co.uk/apply
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RISE in Macclesfield was established in 2012 and specialise in Group Personal Training weight loss programmes for those that don’t like the gym and find diets boring and restrictive!
