I didn’t realise how he knew so quickly [How to deal with flabotagers and frustrating “people”] | RISE Macclesfield | Group Personal Training gym weight loss programmes

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For the last several years, I’ve mostly stopped carrying cash.

Like the Queen you might say.

Since I’ve had Google Pay on my phone, I don’t always take my wallet out with me like I used to.

And, even when if do, there’s often no cash in there.

I occasionally get caught out.

End up somewhere where cash is needed.

——- As an aside, I often think places that still don’t take card are creating a huge ‘false economy’ as, after having had to go and find a cash machine to pay, I’m infinitely less likely to ever go there again ———

So I have been trying and think ahead a bit more and make sure I have cash with me, particularly when doing more ‘outside’ activities such as the football, circus or fayre.

The other day I was thinking about getting some cash out.

And I remembered that many pubs used to do cash back.

They probably still do to be honest, but between not needing cash so much and how infrequently I go to pubs nowadays, I haven’t asked for many years.

But it definitely used to be more of a ‘thing’.

I remember signs promoting it as a feature becoming common place in the late 90s.

And I remembered one particular incident out of nowhere.

Third year at Uni.

I wake up the next morning hungover.

Check my wallet.

It’s empty.

I’m surprised as I remember getting cash back the night before and didn’t think I’d spent all that much.

Thinking about it, I remember asking for cash back, but not actually receiving it.

I ring the pub.

A quick check on Google Maps (now) reminds me that it was the Rose and Crown.

I explain to the person who answered that I think I didn’t receive my cash back.

He immediately, without even a second’s thought, replies “Everything was right when we cashed up, so you will have done” and hung up on me.

I remember thinking “how could he be so sure without any thought?”

That he probably should’ve just gone and checked.

And that it a bit rude to just hang up.

I realise now that I’d probably happened across a common con.

Ringing round pubs in the morning asking this question.

Or if they’d found any cash on the floor.

Or a wallet.

He assumed this was what I was doing and immediately dismissed it.

That hadn’t crossed my mind.

Because I wasn’t aware that’s what some people do.

How some people think.

And we often aren’t aware of how (and why) other people think and act.

We kind of assume (if we even give it any thought) that others think like us.

And can be derailed by them.

When others try and flabotage us.

Guilt trip us into eating or drinking in a certain way when we’ve set out with a different intention.

Tell us we’re “boring” or “no fun” or we’re making them “feel bad”.

We don’t realise that they’re not doing this “to us”.

But “for them”.

To make themselves feel better about their own choices.

Failure is best endured shared.

We wouldn’t do it to others, so don’t recognise it for what it is.

Or we have expectations of how others will behave.

That aren’t even verbalised to them, let alone agreed.

That’s based on the underlying expectation (again, usually with no actual conscious thought about it) that they’ll think the same way as us.

And we then get frustrated when they don’t behave how we expect.

Whether that’s our friends, family or colleagues, who we actually have contact with.

Or, even more daftly when you think about it, politicians, randoms we don’t know and “people” in general.

Any time we talk about “people”, we’re projecting our thought processes and expectations onto others with no agreement from them and setting ourselves up for irritation, frustration and anger.

As Baz Luhrmann sang in the 1999 song Everybody’s Free (To Wear Suncreen) “Politicians will philander”.

I could add “your friends and family will try and flabotage you”.

Or “all day, every day, for the rest of your life, people will behave differently to how you’d like them to”.

Accepting this and rolling with it………..

Rather than resisting it and feeling defeated by it………

Is how we get where we want to get to in life.

Other people won’t think and act how we feel they should or we feel we would in the same situation.

And our ability to deal with that is one of the most important things we can work on.

Although, I’ll be honest with you, the most important thing you can do right now, is click this link and change your life –> www.myrise.co.uk/apply

Much love,

Jon ‘I used to work at the Bag O Nails around the corner’ Hall

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RISE in Macclesfield was established in 2012 and specialise in Group Personal Training weight loss programmes for those that don’t like the gym and find diets boring and restrictive!