![“If it came back earlier we wouldn’t be on this boat” [He did a “positive reframe”]
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Those of you who have me as Facebook friend may have seen that I had a COVID scuppered Christmas.
My wife tested positive on the 22nd and I did on Christmas Day itself.
Our three older kids were with their other parents at that point so didn’t come back as originally planned.
Most of Christmas fortnight was just me, my wife and our youngest.
I didn’t see my two older sons till the 2nd Jan.
And we didn’t all get together with wider family till the 14th and 15th.
I’m not going to say it was a bad Christmas.
But it’d probably be fair to put it down as my 42nd favourite.
I had a PCR on the 25th which took four days to come back “inconclusive”.
So I did another PCR on the 30th which hadn’t come back when I got to the 2nd, but I was out of isolation either way as my only symptoms has been a slight cough for a few days from the 22nd and I was testing negative on the LFT by then.
When I got my two older boys back on the 2nd we did “Christmas Day” – lunch, presents, etc.
And then I decided to take them away for a few days to make up for the lack of time we’d had and so they had something memorable rather than ending up sat round for the next few days.
I looked on AirBnB and found a permanently moored canal boat in York.
It was brilliant.
We had a great time.
On the morning of the 5th I woke to my PCR result.
Negative.
Which meant, in theory, we could’ve been doing things since the 30th.
Note: I’m not sure I would’ve done much to be honest as I was still positive on LFT at that point.
I told the boys over breakfast and said “It’s a shame it didn’t come back earlier”.
“If it came back earlier we wouldn’t be on this boat” my eldest replied.
Which I thought was a great example of two approaches to life and our experiences.
Firstly that all that really exists is the here and now.
The present moment.
The past doesn’t actually exist.
It’s just a memory of previous events.
Where our imagination fills in most of the gaps and all of the meaning.
Despite what our brain may tell us, we have complete control over how we let past events frame and affect that present moment.
And it was a great example of what can be called a “positive reframe”.
All experiences have positives and negatives.
Sometimes they’re harder to find.
And our brains are very good at pointing out the negatives.
And we might still decide that things create a ‘net’ negative.
But that doesn’t mean there weren’t positives.
If we look for them.
Like any skill, we get better with practice.
The more we look for the positives in any situation, the more readily they come to mind.
Often, when we do, there’s more than we might realise.
As a little experiment, next time you face what appears to be a negative experience, try writing down 10 reasons you could be glad it happened.
Actually write it down – as covered the other day “doing it in my head” rarely works.
And do the full 10.
The first few will be super obvious, often superficial stuff.
Forcing yourself to do 10 will help to explore things you hadn’t even considered.
If I hadn’t have done 10 for not getting that result back earlier, I don’t think I’d have come to the realisation that my wife needs more reassurance that she’s doing a good job as a step mum.
Whatever happens to us in life, our response to it is our choice.
We may still make the same choice, and that’s cool.
But remembering that right now is the only thing that ever actually exists……….
And applying a positive reframe can help us see other sides and consider experiences differently.
Much love,
Jon ‘When you start typing “positive” into Google, it’s only suggestions are to do with COVID tests’ Hall
P.S. If you want to make 2022 a year that genuinely has more (non COVID) positives than than previous years (not just 2020 and 2021), then here’s a great way to make that massively more likely –> www,myrise.co.uk/apply or www.myrise.co.uk/join
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RISE in Macclesfield was established in 2012 and specialise in Group Personal Training weight loss programmes for those that don’t like the gym and find diets boring and restrictive!
