The other day over tea I found myself using the classic line my parents used to use on me.


While Jamie went to the toilet, Oli stole his chair, following Izzie’s suggestion.


Jamie flew into a rage on his return.


All three had to be spoken to.


Izzie for the suggestion she knew would upset Jamie.


Jamie for his reaction.


And, of course, Oli for doing the thing he knew would upset Jamie.


“Izzie told me to” came his defence.


“If Izzie told you to jump off a cliff, would you?” came my reply.


It’s a standard response from a parent when faced with a child trying to pass the blame for their own actions.


I’m sure not a single one of us, parents or not, would have let Oli’s explanation go and placed the full blame on Izzie.


But, we do the same for ourselves.


We allow the actions of others to justify our choices.


We all do.


Ourselves included.


But realising what we’re doing is an important first step in changing that behaviour.


Having that biscuit / slice of cake / wine / beer because someone else suggested / offered it?


Having that drink because somebody said or did something at work / home / on Facebook?


Eating that thing in the fridge or cupboard because the other half bought it?


In general, doing anything because of XYZ.


When we stop and accept that every one of our decisions………..


Is entirely our decision………….


It is empowering.


Isn’t it mon ami?


We might still make that same decision.


We all have the right to make any decision we like, of course.


But, next time you find yourself justifying your choices with the actions of others………..


Stop and take a mo.


Take ownership of that decision.


And see how it feels then?



Much love,


Jon ‘Still find myself having a drink because the kids annoyed me – it’s a work in progress’ Hall and Matt ‘Jamie calls me ‘Trouble’ Nicholson


P.S. Less than two weeks to that find out more meeting now –

Jon Hall
Jon Hall

When not helping people to transform their lives and bodies, Jon can usually be found either playing with his kids or taxi-ing them around. If you'd like to find out more about what we do at RISE then enter your details in the box to the right or bottom of this page or at - this is the same way every single one of the hundreds who've described this as "one of the best decisions I've ever made" took their first step.