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I did a post on my personal profile on Facebook the other day:
Complete this sentence;
I’ll be happy when……..
And, as you’d expect, got a number of replies.
“I get a six pack”
“I hit my ideal weight”
And I’ve had the conversation many many times with people over the years when they express that they’ll be happy when some future thing happens.
A physical change.
Something finishes or happens at work.
Some family logistic.
We have more money.
The question, of course, is………
Will they be happy when that thing has happened?
Maybe.
Maybe not.
From my experience, there’s an initial level of pleasure and satisfaction…….
Soon followed by the same levels of fundamental happiness as before.
Deferring happiness again to some other future point.
How many times have we told ourselves “I’ll be happy when………..” and then got there………..
And found we’re no happier?
As a species, we inclined to not give ourselves permission to be happy.
To feel we shouldn’t be happy when there are still things we’d like to improve.
When there’s work to be done.
To think we can only be fundamentally happy when everything is ‘perfect’.
And that being happy now amounts to giving up on change and accepting lower standards.
The thing is though, happiness is just an emotion.
A feeling.
We don’t defer other emotions based on selc created criteria do we?
We don’t think “I won’t feel any fear until…….”
Or “I’ll only be irritated when…….”
Happiness is just an emotion.
Energy in motion.
A feeling that only ever exists in the present moment.
One we can choose to feel more or less of.
That, perhaps, takes practice after years of deferment.
That takes acceptance that we can be both happy…….
And want to make changes.
That these things are not mutually exclusive.
As Rhianna sings in Diamonds, we can “choose to be happy”.
Much love,
‘Shine bright like a’ Jon Hall