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You’ve probably seem memes that say this, or similar, on t’internet.
“Comparison is the thief of joy”.
But, is it?
It can be, of course.
But it kinda depends, no?
On what comparison you’re making.
After all we make comparisons all day every day.
That’s how our brain works.
It’s how we make sense of the absolute masses of information coming in through our different senses every second.
Our brain quickly compares it to past experiences of similar we’ve experienced and makes a decision on what to do with it.
That car driving towards us?
Our brain compares it to previous experiences of cars driving towards us.
It’s trajectory and speed.
And makes a quick decision on whether it’s likely to hit us or not and if we need to move.
At work we make comparisons between what’s happening and similar things that have happened in the past and decide what needs to be done.
Our conversations with others are framed by comparison to previous experiences.
We would struggle to function without making any comparisons.
Everything we experience is viewed through a ‘comparison frame’.
It’s what comparisons that we make that are key.
The frame we choose.
Whether they / it serves us or not.
We compare our performance in some way with how it was and how it’s improved?
That brings pleasure.
We compare our current situation with someone else’s?
That could steal joy.
It could inspire change.
Or a mixture of the two.
We want to improve in some way and we break it down into measurable steps…………
And compare where we are each day to where we were and where we want to get to?
That can build confidence and momentum.
Thinking that comparison is the thief of joy isn’t as straight forward as we might think.
Because we can’t stop making comparisons.
And wouldn’t benefit from it if we could.
We could, perhaps, just become more selective with the frames that we choose?
Stop using the ones that demotivate us a make us feel bad about our current situation.
Start (or continue) to use those that motivate and inspire us and fill us with energy and enthusiasm,
Much love,
Jon ‘Theif’ Hall
P.S. That middle name isn’t as unimaginative as it sounds – there is a Thief Hall (a building) in North Yorkshire.