I consider one of my principal roles as a good coach (which I believe I am) to be asking people better questions.
After all, just asking the same questions they’ve answered before will lead to the same answers and, therefore, the same results.
It’s not that they were answering the questions wrong, there just might be other questions that will serve them better.
I would feel that I’m doing people a disservice if I just smiled and nodded and accepted their first responses.
They come to see me to help them make changes in their life.
I have no interest in people just paying money and not gaining progress and results off the back of it.
Sometimes people will respond to one of my follow up questions with “Do you not believe me?”
They might have said they “don’t have time to exercise at the moment” and I’ve asked a question in response.
Or they’ve given a reason that they don’t feel they can eat better right now and I’ve then asked them something else.
In the vast majority of cases, it’s not that I don’t believe their answer………..
It’s that they’ve not answered the question that I’ve asked.
They’ve asked what they think I’m asking.
Or maybe the kind of questions they’re used to.
But, if we take a rewind, they’ve not perhaps actually answered the question that I just asked.
They might explain to me why they don’t feel they can fit three 45-minute workouts in at RISE that week.
But I hadn’t asked that.
I’d asked what exercise they could fit in.
They might feel that they can’t eat entirely fresh home-cooked meals that week and have no snacks and alcohol.
But I hadn’t asked that.
I’d asked what easy adjustments we could make to reduce their overall calorie intake, ideally to deficit or maintenance.
They might feel that they struggle to stay asleep the entirety of the night.
But I hadn’t asked that.
I’d asked what changes they could make to their bedtime routine that, on average, are likely to help with sleep quantity and quality.
It’s human nature to identify some theoretically perfect version of an approach.
And, when we can’t do that, to feel that it’s something to “leave” until we can.
Even though that approach has, on average, led us further away from our desired results over time.
Re-asking the same questions about how we can do something that we struggle to do probably isn’t going to get us there.
Questions around what changes we can make under the circumstances we’re facing at the moment, that will tick some boxes that help create an average that takes us in the right direction are far more productive questions to ask
It’s not that I don’t believe people’s answers to their questions………
They’re just often asking the wrong questions of themselves.
Or answering different questions to the ones I’ve just asked them.
Much love,
Jon ‘Life After Love’ Hall
P.S. When you’re ready for better questions and actual forward progress, rather than waiting till the stars align (they won’t) then you’ll find that at www.myrise.co.uk/apply – with a money back guarantee on the four week trial!
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RISE in Macclesfield was established in 2012 and specialise in Group Personal Training weight loss programmes for those that don’t like the gym and find diets boring and restrictive!
