The other week I talked about confidence.
About how the route of the word is the same as for confide.
Trust.
Confidence comes from trusting in your ability to handle a specific situation.
It also comes, not from your relationship to success………..
But your relationship with failure.
Being ok with the fact that it might not go as you’d, ideally, like.
Seeing that as an opportunity to learn.
To make that outcome less likely next time.
To realise that there is no success without failure.
And to recognise that success and failure are largely labels of our own application.
The definition of each often being up to us.
Recognising that, in every sub-optimal outcome, there are positives.
Those learning opportunities.
Getting closer to the next ‘better outcome’.
I mentioned in a blog the other day that most FitPros “hate doing phone sales”.
What they actually hate is speaking to people and them not signing up.
If everyone they ever spoke to on the phone joined, I doubt they’d “hate it” so much.
I’m ok with that “failure”.
Because I choose to see it a few ways;
– The programme wasn’t the right fit and I’ve been able to recommend something else that was more suitable for them
– I’ve got one closer to that next new member, when / where ever that’s coming
– I can learn from aspects of the call (and everything else around it) that I perhaps didn’t do as well as I could have and can do better next time
Every quarter I set goals as part of the coaching programme I’m part of.
I don’t think I’ve ever had a quarter where I’ve hit them all.
And I’m ok with that.
Because I know I’ll have achieved way more by setting those goals, hitting some and getting part way there with others………………
Than if I’d set no goals at all.
If we have an intent for the week we’re in (let’s say three workouts and eating in a thousand calorie a day deficit)………….
And that doesn’t happen………….
We’ve then got two choices.
1. Beat ourselves up over it. Tell ourselves we’re “useless” and we’ll “never do it”. Aim to “start again” in the exact same way next week even though there’s that little voice already telling us it “won’t happen”.
2. Be ok with the fact it didn’t happen. Look at what we did actually manage, not just what we didn’t. Look at why what didn’t happen didn’t happen. What can we change about how we approach it next time to increase the likelihood of it going how we’d like it to?
Success is nice, of course.
But our confidence, momentum and results won’t come from our relationship with success.
It’ll come from our relationship with “failure”.
Much love,
Jon ‘To Communicate’ Hall
P.S. If you’ve “failed” to click this link and get cracking on changing your life so far, maybe it’s time to learn from that and turn that into a “success”? –> www.myrise.co.uk/apply
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RISE in Macclesfield was established in 2012 and specialise in Group Personal Training weight loss programmes for those that don’t like the gym and find diets boring and restrictive!
