Regular readers of this blog will know that me and my girlfriend have three kids.
And that they whinge more than I’d like them to.
It’s the one thing I really struggle with.
Them whinging goes through my like nails down a blackboard (what’s the modern equivalent of that? – most sub 30 year olds won’t get that).
“I don’t want to do this”.
“I don’t like this”.
“He hit me”.
“I’m bored”.
“I don’t know how to ……..”
And so on.
Just pointing out a problem and complaining isn’t the way I roll.
We seem to be getting there with them though.
My normal response is to just look at them.
They sometimes then turn the problem into a solution straight away.
“Could you help me with ……..”
Often though they’ll keep repeating the same problem though.
And I’ll often respond with “Maybe you should try whinging more”.
That usually does the job.
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Having kids has made me realise that whinging is a natural response.
It’s something that has to be trained out of us.
To help us start to look for solutions.
Rather than problems.
Even as adults it’s something we have to make a conscious effort to stop.
It’s so tempting just to complain.
“Exercise takes too much time”.
“Healthy food costs too much”.
“It’s boring”.
“I don’t have time”.
“I’m too tired”.
And so on.
But that approach never gets us where we want to be.
Going in with a ‘solution focused approach’ does though.
“How can I create more time?”.
“Where can I reduce my outgoings elsewhere?”.
“What other options are there that I’ll enjoy more?”.
“Where can I make time available?”.
“What can I do to get more energy?”.
And so on.
You get the idea.
Much love,
Jon ‘Ninjas, Not Whingers’ Hall and Matt ‘Wine > Whine’ Nicholson
