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My three older kids (aged 11, 11 and 13) are starting to get to the age now where they’re watching and listening to ‘older’ films, programmes and music.

The 13 year old regularly asks me why he hasn’t got unrestricted access to 15s on Netflix (“like all my friends have”).

He claims most have access to 18s which I find very hard to believe.

And sometime they’ll be watching or listening to something and I’ll hear a swear word or five mixed in (YouTube gaming videos particularly).

They’ll glance up to see if I’ve heard and when they notice I have they’ll usually switch to another video.

But more and more they’ve started to question this.

“We know all those words Dad”.

Which I get.

But that doesn’t mean I think it’s OK for them to hear them more than they, perhaps, have to.

Or more than I have influence over, at least.

Because the language we are exposed to shapes us.

Whether it’s what we hear from others.

Or what we say ourselves.

The latter especially.

The words we use drive our thoughts…….

Which drives our behaviour and actions……

Which drives our results.

As humans we’re very good at describing things in a way that keeps us ‘stuck’.

That ties us to old behaviours.

And ‘minding our language’ in these areas would probably benefit us more than anything.

I’ve covered many times before why describing our choices as “self sabotage” can mean we struggle to change what we’re doing.

Because we’ll never know why we “self sabotaged”.

Because we didn’t.

We made another choice because of the perceived benefits it gave, in spite of the drawbacks.

We didn’t make the choice for the drawbacks.

Next time you catch your self describing what you did as “self sabotage” you might benefit from ‘minding your language’.

Looking at what benefits that choice gave you.

And how we could gain at least enough of those benefits with a different choice.

Hint: It will probably be some combination of desire to improve your state (how you feel), desire to fit in with others and a framing of the other choices as restriction and control which we want to rebel against.

If talking about “cutting out” certain foods (or carbs or alcohol) leads to us having a better average intake for the rest of our lives, then that’s awesome.

If it means we feel that we’ve failed when we have some………

A then have some more……….

“Writing it off”…………

With a view to “starting again next week”………..

Then you might benefit from ‘minding your language’.

Maybe to more of a ‘creating an average’ approach.

Perhaps considering more what we’re ‘adding in’ rather than (perceived) ‘taking out’.

“Treating my body and mind with love, care and respect”.

“Eating a way that makes me look and feel better”.

“Giving a sh!t about what I put in my mouth because of how it makes me look and feel”.

When we find ourselves talking about our “bad metabolism” or how “exercise is boring” or “I’m too busy”…………

We might benefit from ‘minding our language’ and reframing to “I’ll still lose weight when in a calorie deficit” or “exercise is worth it for the benefits” or “I’ll do what I can around my other commitments”.

As always, no right or wrong.

Describe things however you like.

But………….

If it’s not setting you up for success.

You might benefit from “minding your language”.

Much love,

Jon ‘Mind the gap’ Hall

P.S. If you want actual help in making lasting changes……… rather than being berated for not following instructions you’ve struggled with before ………. and constantly stop-starting ………… then click this link and apply –> www.myrise.co.uk/apply

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RISE in Macclesfield was established in 2012 and specialise in Group Personal Training weight loss programmes for those that don’t like the gym and find diets boring and restrictive!

Jon Hall
Jon Hall

When not helping people to transform their lives and bodies, Jon can usually be found either playing with his kids or taxi-ing them around. If you'd like to find out more about what we do at RISE then enter your details in the box to the right or bottom of this page or at myrise.co.uk - this is the same way every single one of the hundreds who've described this as "one of the best decisions I've ever made" took their first step.