Some of them want to be abused [Do you?] | RISE Macclesfield | Group Personal Training gym weight loss programmes

Whilst we’re on the subject of old songs I’ve recently heard, I was doing my lengthy school run last month (some of these blog ideas stay just ideas for months or years before I do anything with them) and ‘Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)’ came on the wireless (I call it this to wind my kids up).

You know, the 1983 breakthrough hit from the band Eurythmics.

A section jumped out at me;

Everybody’s looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

Particularly the last line.

“Some of them want to be abused”

It’s hard to admit, but that’s something we all “want” at times.

It’s tempting to make ourselves the victim.

To create this almost ‘romantic’ narrative where the challenges and hardships we’re facing in life have been inflicted on us by others.

To wax lyrical about how people are “doing this to me”.

That “it always happens to me”.

That it’s “typical”.

And I get that.

I know how it can feel like that at times.

Particularly if that’s how we choose to frame what’s happening.

The frame we choose to see reality though normally causes us to see ever more “proofs” of that being the case.

Seeing the world differently can often feel forced to start with.

But the more we choose to look at it that way, the more “proofs” we see of that.

The more it starts to become our natural way of seeing things.

Even knowing that there are different ways to see things and not just defaulting to what we’ve always thought is a powerful start.

There’s one school of thought that there are different “levels of consciousness” around how we can view our life.

It is, of course, not a hard and fast fact.

Not much is.

Just a way of viewing things.

A way that I quite like.

Level 1 can be called “To me”.

Life, and things, happen to us.

Nothing changes over time.

It’s probably where the vast majority of people (if social media comments are anything to go on anyway) are “at”.

Level 2 can be called “By me”.

We accept that we, and our actions, are responsible for the vast majority of what happens in our life.

And we’re going to do what needs to be done to change those areas we’re not happy with.

Change happens but it can be a grind.

A bit of a slog.

Level 3 can be called “Through me”.

What happens happens.

We can affect it through our actions.

But we don’t need to “hold on” to it all.

Thoughts and feelings don’t get “stuck” in us as much.

We allow them to flow on through.

Things change and what doesn’t / cant’ change becomes more accepted.

We have more energy, focus and enthusiasm for what we can / are willing to change.

Level 4 can be called “For me”.

Everything that happens in our lives happens for as reason.

There are gifts and lessons in every experience.

Everything can benefit us if we choose to see it that way.

As always, there’s no “right or wrong”.

Just different ways to see things.

Ways we might not be ready for just yet.

Ways that may never sit right with us.

But that, maybe, are worth exploring.

If we feel that the world is always against us……….

That life happens “to me”……….

If we, to some degree “like to be abused”………..

Knowing that there are different ways to view the world is the essential first step to any of that changing (and the biggest step you’ll ever make in making changes in your life will be found via the step at www.myrise.co.uk/apply).

Much love,

Jon ‘Annie Lennox’ Hall

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RISE in Macclesfield was established in 2012 and specialise in Group Personal Training weight loss programmes for those that don’t like the gym and find diets boring and restrictive!