Before I get to today’s email, there’s a change in the upcoming webinar (Make your comeback – looking 10 years younger in 10 weeks) I mentioned yesterday.
It’s had to move from Tuesday 7th at 8pm to Sunday 5th at 8pm.
You can request a spot here.
The reason for this is I am making my ‘Stand Up Comedy Debut’ next Tuesday at 8pm now.
You read that right.
You see, I’ve made a list of 52 new things to do in 2014.
You can see the list and be kept updated at myrise.co.uk/members/jons-2014 if you’re interested.
And as fate would have it, I’ve been given the opportunity to do the comedy one next Tuesday.
And I’m proper scared!!!!!
It’s 8pm at the Snow Goose in Macclesfield next Tuesday – you can see more details and join the Facebook event here if you like.
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The general feedback we’re getting from people is that they feel pretty crap after Christmas.
In the case of our ninjas they might be feeling less crap than they normally do after Christmas.
But most people seem to have taken a bit of a step back at the very least.
And everyone I’ve spoken to is feeling pretty rubbish about that.
“Why can’t I stop eating crap?”
“Why do I always undo all the good work?”
“Why do I find it so hard?”
“Why won’t my friends and family support me?”
“Why am I so useless?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
These are all common questions we hear at this time of year (and the rest of the year, to be honest).
Pretty much every problem we face in doing something in life comes down to one route cause.
We haven’t clarified our ‘why’.
Your ‘why’ is your deep routed reasoning for wanting to do something.
And chances are you probably don’t even know what it is.
Things like this can be broken down into three categories.
- Will tell.
- Won’t tell.
- Can’t tell.
“Will tell” is normally the first description of why someone wants to do something.
It’s the ‘socially acceptable’ way of describing something that we’ve been taught.
“I want to lose a bit of weight because my clothes are a bit tight.”
“I want to lose weight because it’s not great for my health.”
“I feel I need to tone up a bit as I don’t look as good as I used to.”
“Won’t tell” is the reason that you know but don’t always feel comfortable saying.
At least not straight away.
“I feel my partner doesn’t want to have sex with me and might start looking elsewhere.”
“I’ll never attract someone looking like this.”
“When I have to sit down after 5 minutes of playing with the kids, I feel like shit.”
“I hate what I see in the mirror.”
“I’m disgusted with myself.”
And so on.
“Can’t tell” is the real deep routed base reason that you might not realise without delving a little deeper.
It’s also the one that, when you know it and remind yourself of it when you’re faced with a difficult decision, makes that decision much easier.
Only you can decide the real deep routed reason you want to change something in your life.
Spend today trying to decide what it is.
I’ll give you a few examples in a mo.
But an easy way to get there is to keep asking yourself “Why?” until you run out of answers.
Like a child does.
Eg:
“I want to lose weight”
“Why?”
“To look better”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t like the way I look at the moment”
“Why?”
“Because I’m worried that my partner might not find me attractive”
“Why?”
“Because I’m petrified that I’ll die alone and unhappy – there, are you happy now?”
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Other examples of deep routed ‘whys’ may include:
“I hate that …… looks better than me”
“I’m scared that I won’t live to see my kids get married / my grand kids”
“I’m petrified of death”
Have a good think today and come up with yours.
And tomorrow I’ll cover how to compare this to the ‘whys’ behind your other behaviours.
And see which one wins.
Much love,
Jon ‘Petrified of death’ Hall and Matt ‘My Dad died in his 40s from not looking after himself’ Nicholson
