I talked the other day about how all the different things that we could do are essentially just blueprints.
And how it doesn’t matter how good the blueprint looks in theory if we don’t then essentially build it.
There’s another problem we have with blueprints though.
Is when our blueprint of how we expect things to be doesn’t match how they are.
Unmet expectations are, from my experience, the biggest cause of what we could call the unpleasant emotions.
Frustration, anger, disappointment, etc.
If things are as we expected them to be or better then we’re usually feel okay about.
Not always, sure – but usually.
When things aren’t as we like them to be it’s an easy pathway to those unpleasant emotions.
—— Notice that I didn’t call them “negative emotions”. All emotions have their place ——-
When expectations are unmet there are two things we can do.
1. Look to get those expectations met
2. Challenge our expectations
The first is the obvious one.
And it’s probably the one that we tried the most.
We look to change the world to fit in with what we want.
And that definitely has its place.
But sometimes we benefit from doing some of the second one.
We’re often reluctant as we see it as a “lowering of standards”.
But, if our expectations are some combination of;
– Overly optimistic
– Pretty vague at best
– Reliant on things that we can’t influence, let alone control
– Just in our head
– Not verbalised to those involved, let along their agreement and buy-in gained
– Based on our own standards and beliefs not necessarily those of others
– Based on standards and beliefs that we don’t necessarily always meet or adhere to ourselves
– Not intelligently thought through and planned around
– Approached in pretty much the same way as the last however many times they didn’t happen……….
Then maybe we’re just setting ourselves up for unmet expectations and the ensuing unpleasant emotions.
Questioning any or all of their above and setting and approaching our expectations in a way that maximizes the chance of them being met……….
Isn’t a lowering of standards.
It’s just being smart (as is clicking this link and changing your life –> www.myrise.co.uk/apply)
Much love,
Jon ‘Bryan Johnson’ Hall
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RISE in Macclesfield was established in 2012 and specialise in Group Personal Training weight loss programmes for those that don’t like the gym and find diets boring and restrictive!