Last year, as we were in the third Lockdown and doing online only, we changed the way we brought people in to RISE.
We’d previously always done a monthly find-out-more meeting at the club and all new members started the following week at the beginning of the month.
During the first Lockdown, I put a freeze on brining new people in.
It didn’t feel an ideal way to get started and, I’ll be honest, I didn’t realise how long it was going to go on for.
By the time the third Lockdown came, we had a lot of people reaching out to us as they were struggling.
And we didn’t know how much longer this was going to go on.
So we changed things up so we could bring people in online.
One of the changes was to using a ‘proper’ phone system.
Although it’s ‘mobile number’, it’s not me sat with my phone wedged between by ear and shoulder – it’s an online setup with proper systems built in to help me keep track.
It also automatically backs up all calls securely online.
Not particularly something I intended to get, but it has proved useful on occasion.
When it was the meetings, if anyone ever said that I had said something different to what I actually had (rare, but it happened), I would send them a recording of one meeting we’d done and explain the format was the same in all meetings.
And, that I’d made how membership works and payments super clear and they had ticked, initialled and signed on the form they filled in (big, obvious bullet points not ‘small print’) to confirm they were ok with the occasionally disputed points.
Now, on the odd occasion someone says I said something different when I spoke to them on the phone, I offer to send them a download of the recording.
And point out that the relevant points were explicitly covered on the pre-call PDF I sent, the joiner email and the T&Cs they filled in and okayed.
It’s not been many times that I’ve had to offer to send the recording (over 99% of people ‘get it’ straight away), but in the few times I have, the conversation has gone as follows;
“Jon – you told me XYZ when we spoke on the phone”
“I wouldn’t have said that as that’s never been the case I’m afraid. All our calls are automatically backed up online – I could send you the recording if you’d like to check what was said?”
Silence / change subject / reiterate same point with same response from me followed by silence or changing the subject.
No one has ever said “sure – send me the recording”.
Because, I’m sure, they know what it’ll show.
I’m pretty sure that, up to that moment, they believed their version of events though.
Because I know how readily the human mind retcons and adjusts memories to fit the narrative we’re choosing at that point.
It’s a powerful realisation that people aren’t usually out to get us.
That they’re not doing things “to me”.
That they’re usually doing their best with what they’ve got at that time.
They’re doing what they think is right for them and those they care about.
When we make it less about us and more about them, it’s freeing.
I don’t lose any sleep over these rare occurrences of people trying to misquote me.
Because I know I’m putting the message across clearly and that 99% of people get it.
And I’m best served focussing my energy on that 99% rather than losing it elsewhere.
The better we get at not ‘holding on’ to other people’s actions and behaviours that we don’t agree with, the more of us there is left to do what we do believe in.
And…………
It’s a super powerful skill to be willing to be proved wrong.
No one likes it, I get that.
But if we’re categorically wrong then we have two choices.
– Accept that and learn from it
– Keep being wrong
I’ve seen occasional former members who made similar comments about their time with us then go on to complain on Facebook for years about the service they received, what people had told them, etc.
Never quite realising that the central theme was always them.
The more we lean into a willingness to be proven wrong………..
The more right we will become.
Much love,
Jon ‘To me, to you’ Hall
P.S. If you find these emails useful and thought provoking, just imagine what you’d get as part of our actual programme. It’s not just renting access to some equipment like you get at most places. www.myrise.co.uk/apply
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RISE in Macclesfield was established in 2012 and specialise in Group Personal Training weight loss programmes for those that don’t like the gym and find diets boring and restrictive!
