I mentioned yesterday that I’ve come to the realisation over the last few years that a big part of what stops us making different choices is (perceived) uncertainty.

Another realisation that I’ve made is something that is a massive part of our stresses and frustrations in life.

Not all of it, sure.

But a big part of it.

Expectations.

Or, in reality, unmet expectations.

When things are exactly as we expect, we’re ok with them not being great.

When they’re not as we feel they should be, stress and frustration is created (or, at least, amplified).

Other half, kids, family members or friends don’t behave as we think they should?

Frustrating.

People at work don’t do what we feel they should?

Annoying.

Our plan for the day gets torn apart by others?

Stressful.

People don’t give us a thank you wave when we let them go in front of us?

Stuff costs more than we expect?

Takes longer than we think it should?

Our freedoms are ‘restricted’ beyond what we’re used to (I’ve come to a realisation about ‘freedom’ that I might share with you tomorrow)?

All frustrating and stressful.

All those things happen exactly how we expect?

Even if it’s not actually all that good?

It’s not too bad is it?

So what can we do about this?

There’s a few things.

Often our expectations haven’t been fully thought through by ourselves…………

Let alone communicated to those who are involved…………

Let alone getting their buy in to them.

The clearer we can become on what our expectations are…………

The more we communicate this to those involved………….

And the more we do this in a way that helps them understand why they might want to do those things……………..

The more likely our expectations are to be met.

Or…………

We might realise our expectations lay somewhere between unrealistic and hopelessly optimistic.

Acceptance of certain things is powerful.

It isn’t, as we might be tempted to think, a lowering of standards.

Rather an acceptance of what “just is”………….

So we can concentrate our energy and efforts on what we can actually change.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference”.

When you’re next faced with a stressful and / or frustrating situation, ask yourself these questions:

What are my expectations of this situation?

Are those expectations ever likely to be met?

If not, what expectations could I have that can be met?

Have these expectations been fully thought through?

Have they been verbalised to those involved?

Have they been agreed?

I get this isn’t the entirety of stress.

But the more I look the more I find it’s often a big part of it.

And, having read this, I hope you’ll have a look too 🙂

Much love,

Jon ‘I find when I expect my wife to be late and my teen and pre-teen kids to be grumpy, life is much easier’ Hall

P.S. If you’d like actual help with the things that have always got in the way of eating better, being healthier, etc in the past (such as stress and the general challenges of life), rather than just, essentially, being given the same list of what to do that you’ve struggled with before……….. then made to feel bad when you struggle to do it……….. then that’s what we do —-> www.myrise.co.uk/apply

Jon Hall
Jon Hall

When not helping people to transform their lives and bodies, Jon can usually be found either playing with his kids or taxi-ing them around. If you'd like to find out more about what we do at RISE then enter your details in the box to the right or bottom of this page or at myrise.co.uk - this is the same way every single one of the hundreds who've described this as "one of the best decisions I've ever made" took their first step.