Yesterday I left you with the cliff hanger that today I would cover “the fundamental approach to doing stuff that we all do that makes it all harder than it has to be”.
I know you’ve not stopped thinking about it since and have barely slept, so I will proceed.
It’s the “what”.
We concentrate purely on the “what” we feel we need to do.
Or “ought”.
Or “should”.
And that has it’s place, sure.
We need to know the steps or we can’t take them.
But knowing where the steps are alone is rarely enough.
You wouldn’t just walk up some stairs because you knew they were there, would you?
You’d need a reason.
A “why”.
And the stronger that “why” is……….
The more straight forward the “what” becomes.
We feel we know “why” though don’t we?
If I asked you “why do you feel you should exercise and eat better” you’d be able to answer, wouldn’t you?
I’d wager it was a fairly standard answer though.
“I need to lose weight”.
Maybe we’ll go a fraction deeper and get “To feel better”.
Not very motivating, that is it?
The deeper we get with why we want to do something…………
And the more we remind ourselves of that………….
The more likely we are to make decisions in line with that – to do the thing.
And finding “why” is simple.
Not necessarily easy, but simple.
Like an annoying child, keep asking “Why?”
“I want to lose weight”
“Why?”
“I don’t like the weight I’m at now”
“Why?”
“I just don’t like the way I look and feel”
“Why?”
“I can’t play with my kids as much as I’d like. I see the way they look at me. And I know my wife doesn’t find me attractive any more and our sex life is dead. And I know people who’ve died not much older than I am now who were in similar shape to me and I’m petrified I’ll do that to my wife and kids. And it affects my confidence. I don’t do stuff that I want to do because of my weight.”
That’s a bit more powerful than “I should go to the gym” or “I need to eat less”, isn’t it?
Same with;
“I just hate the way I look in the mirror. And my energy is rock bottom. I feel I’m constantly failing those that rely on me. My husband doesn’t look at me any more.”
And so on.
No right or wrong.
It doesn’t have to be all noble.
Don’t worry if others might consider your “whys” as shallow.
Just find them.
Ask “why” over and over.
Get deep.
Something you really care about.
And remind yourself of that.
Question if the decisions you are about to make take you in that direction or away.
Forgot the decisions that are in the past.
Just remember your “why” in the here and now.
And the “what” becomes way more likely.
Much love,
Jon ‘The Why Bird Stop’ Hall
P.S. We’ll help you with both the what and the why. And, as you’ll see on social media, we help countless people actually get there, having always struggled with the ‘standard menu of options’ before. Reply with INFO to find out how we’d help you (with a money back guarantee).
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RISE in Macclesfield was established in 2012 and specialise in Group Personal Training weight loss programmes for those that don’t like the gym and find diets boring and restrictive!
