As I’ve mentioned before in emails, my girlfriend and I have three kids between us.
Two boys for me, one girl for her.
4, 4 and 6 they are.
Raising them is interesting to say the least.
It’s really shown me how a lot of the thought processes we have are ones that develop naturally and we have to’train’ out our ourselves.
While others are taught behaviours we may have to ‘untrain’.
With all three we’re still working on getting them to understand that their behaviour is entirely their choice.
“You (or he or she) made me do it” is a common line we hear from them.
To explain why they just committed some misdemeanour.
Hitting someone or saying something rude to them usually.
Because they / we had done something first that had annoyed them in some way.
We keep on explaining that they still chose how to respond.
And that nothing ‘makes’ you do something else.
It’s a work in progress!
It’s a thought process that can limit us in adulthood.
Allowing ourselves to believe that the actions of others are the cause of our behaviours.
That our colleagues ‘made’ us eat cake when they bought it in.
That our friends ‘made’ us drink.
Or eat certain foods.
That the kids, work or other stresses ‘made’ us need a drink.
That unexpected problems or delays ‘made’ us pick up something convenient (and unhealthy).
And so on.
Of course, we all have the ultimate decision in all of those behaviours.
We’ve never genuinely heard of someone being forced to eat or drink something against their will.
Everything that passes our lips is 100% our choice.
And really accepting that is empowering.
As always, we don’t want to preach.
Everyone can eat and drink whatever they like.
But truly accepting that everything we eat and drink is our choice, and our choice alone, helps make those decisions much easier.
Much love,
Jon ‘Matt made me do it’ Hall and Matt ‘Jon made me do it’ Nicholson
P.S. If you haven’t already checked us out and want to see how we help people change their mindsets and habits, we have the find-out-more briefing meeting for the March ‘FREE 20lbs in 8 weeks weight loss challenge’ (and normal membership) tomorrow night. Check it out at myrise.co.uk/briefing-meeting.
